Holidays Can be Stressful
The holidays are notorious for not always being joyous. There is a little Grinch and Scrooge in all of us, and that is OK. Just as we adults may start to feel the pressure when holiday jingles start to pipe through our local grocery store’s audio system, the kids and teens in our lives can sometimes feel overwhelmed and overstimulated with the holidays.
There is the disruption in routine. Winter break means school is out, and the day gets darker earlier, but the lights are still bright, the cookies are sugary, and the crowds are heavy. Here are some strategies to help your kids cope with all the stimulation.
Maintain routines: Try to continue a regular routine as much as possible during the holidays. Even when traveling or entertaining house guests, keep a few routines consistent. Ensuring kids get good quality sleep and consistent mealtimes and snacks is key. If you can still maintain some aspects of your typical routine, like quiet downtime or a simple morning ritual you share every day, this helps maintain a sense of stability and increases children’s energy reserves during the cheerful chaos of the holiday season.
Prepare your child: If you are traveling for the holidays, give your kiddo an idea of how long you are going to be somewhere, what to expect and let them know they can come to you anytime that they feel overwhelmed. Using timers or visual schedules can help. Plan to bring comfort items-like a favorite blanket or headphones- that they can use in a quiet spot if needed.
Stay attuned: Young ones do not always verbalize that they are stressed, but there are some behaviors to keep an eye out for, that are early signs to comfort a child prior to emotions escalating. Some behaviors to be on the watch for are being very hyper, repeating the same questions/interrupting or being irritable. Or alternatively, hiding behind you, clinging to you or covering their face can be signs of being overwhelmed. These can be indicators to take your kiddo to a quiet place to relax for a short amount of quality time. Also, if you are familiar with the signs your young one starts to exhibit when they are hungry or tired, this can let you know when to get them a snack or when it is time to head home.
Stay calm: Sometimes holidays can be hectic. With so much activity, energy levels can abruptly shift, leading to a sudden meltdown. If this does happen, be sure to speak slowly and softly and offer options. Avoid lecturing or discipling and focus on making your child feel supported and safe. Using simple phrases like “I’m here” or “You’re safe.”
Co-regulate: This is a parenting tool to help kids develop self-regulation skills. First, the adult needs to pause and self-regulate their own emotions by taking steady breaths. Then, you get on the same level as the child and validate the child’s feelings, observe their response and then decide how to respond next (can be both verbally and nonverbally, such as with touch). For example, you can choose to guide them in a calming exercise. Even if they decline, you can say you would like to do it yourself because it helps you calm down and they may just watch you, because modeling self-regulation is helpful even if they do not join in every time.
Be flexible: Do not expect perfect behavior and focus more on the comfort of your kiddo. Let your child opt out when needed such as skipping activity or leaving early. Movement breaks can be super helpful- short walks or stretching can assist with emotional regulation. The holidays are a perfect time to walk around and look at all the decorations.
Reflect: Talk with your child about what was challenging and think of more strategies to address these opportunities. Find out what they liked too and keep building fun traditions together.
Reach Out – If you are ever feeling overwhelmed yourself or need someone to talk to, our team of therapists are always available. Therapists can also work with you and your children in a family setting to develop strategies together.
Research – If you are interested in more resources that will help you keep your kids calm through the holidays check out the following:
Co-Regulation – Co-Regulation From Birth Through Young Adulthood: A Practice Brief
Christmas with autism and other additional needs: How families cope with sensory overload at Christmas – https://www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/articles/zw8pg2p
6 Tips for Helping Sensory-Sensitive Kids Enjoy the Holidays – https://www.parents.com/6-tips-for-helping-sensory-sensitive-kids-enjoy-the-holidays-11855606